Write a 15-step list titled “How to be____”
How to be an expert procrastinator:
- Determine the thing which has both the most importance and least personal appeal on your schedule.
- Figure out a formulaic approach on how said thing will be accomplished.
- Build a timeline for its completion, include pie graphs if necessary.
- Return every single call and message you’ve neglected for the past two weeks.
- Begin working on thing. Stop after twenty seconds. You need to do laundry, remember?
- Dang. Now you have to wait twelve minutes for the washer to be done. No point continuing work on the thing with so little time to dedicate.
- Facebook hasn’t been checked in seven minutes. Get on that.
- We need food to survive. Only one cupboard is full of stuff. Time to go to the store.
- And the bank, and the gas station and everything else you can think of for the love of god.
- Think about how you’re really going to buckle down on the thing when you get home.
- None of the food you bought sounds good. Stop at Arby’s.
- Okay, time to get to work. Frick, forgot about laundry. Need to switch that over.
- Your productivity mojo just got axed. Might as well take a nap to recalibrate your energies.
- Nap lasted seven-and-a-half hours. No point doing the thing now. It’s okay, we’ll compensate by being productive in every other conceivable way.
- Write a 15-step list because there’s nothing better to do.